


atlas hands

by itisjosh



Series: onlypain [56]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :), Angst, Best Friends, Fear of Death, Gen, Goodbyes, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Winter, hello kari i know you're reading this, this is for not rigging the poll in my favour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29707179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: Ranboo never thought that he would die, and he definitely never thought that he would die in the arms of the boy he'd consider his best friend.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Series: onlypain [56]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027711
Comments: 29
Kudos: 396





	atlas hands

Ranboo never thought that he would die, and he definitely never thought that he would die in the arms of the boy he'd consider his best friend. Ranboo shifts a little, crying out in pain as he rests his head against Tubbo's chest, squeezing his eyes shut, desperately trying to focus on not crying. If he starts to cry, the pain will get worse, and he doesn't want it to get worse. He stifles his cries, biting down on his lip to distract himself from everything that's going on around him. He tilts his head up a little, looking up at Tubbo, who doesn't look back down at him. Tubbo's eyes are firmly set, and he's staring off ahead of him, refusing to look down. Ranboo thinks that this wasn't supposed to happen to him, that this isn't how he's supposed to die. Ranboo thinks that he wasn't supposed to die at all, but it's far too late to change that now. He blinks back his tears, forcing them to stay back, to not trail down his face and leave scorch marks in their wake. "Tubbo?" Ranboo asks, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Tubbo, I'm sorry." He doesn't know what's apologising for, but it feels like the right thing to do. 

Tubbo laughs, bitter and hurt, a tinge of anger hidden somewhere in that one bark of laughter. He's angry, Ranboo can tell. He doesn't know if Tubbo is angry at him or if he's angry at him dying, but Ranboo knows that he's angry, and it's terrifying. Tubbo is normally passive and calm, never raising his voice unless he absolutely has to, and seeing him so furious is terrifying, even if it might not be directed at him. Tubbo shakes his head a little, and if Ranboo looks closely enough, he can see tears trailing down the sides of Tubbo's face. He's crying, Ranboo realises. He's crying, and it's probably because of him. "Why are you sorry?" Tubbo whispers, his voice cracking. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, big man. You've got nothing to be sorry for," Tubbo looks down at him, his eyebrows furrowed together, his lips pulled in a tight grimace. He sniffles, raising his hand to wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry. _I'm_ sorry, Ranboo. I'm so sorry." Ranboo smiles, gasping in pain when he does. It irritates the burns on his face, it makes him want to scream and cry and thrash in Tubbo's arms, but he can't, he can't do that or else he'll hurt even more. Ranboo thought that he might have been lucky enough to not die painfully, but he was wrong. God, how he was wrong. 

"It's okay," Ranboo reassures his friend, shifting closer to him. He doesn't want to be alone, and even if he knows that Tubbo is there, he doesn't want to _feel_ alone. He has to be able to feel another person by his side, he's got to be touching someone else. "This is sort of inconvenient, isn't it?" He laughs, wincing when he does. He bites back the cries of pain he would like to let escape from his lips, but he doesn't want to upset Tubbo, he doesn't want to make his best friend hear that. Ranboo was thrown out into the rain. He doesn't know who did it to him, he doesn't know how long he was out there, but it was long enough to do permanent damage. Even if he was healed immediately after he had been shoved out into the rain, it wouldn't do much. Being out there was far, far too much for him, and now he's going to die. He's going to die because of it, and Ranboo is terrified. He's scared, he's _so_ scared. He doesn't want to die. "Tubbo?" Ranboo tilts his head up a little, locking eyes with his best friend. Tubbo was an enemy of his only a few months ago. Everyone was his enemy, he refused to trust anyone, and yet Tubbo somehow managed to force himself into Ranboo's heart in only a few weeks. "I'm scared, Tubbo. I don't want to die. I don't want to die, I don't.." he trails off, feeling like he's about to break down at any given moment. "I don't want to die, Tubbo."

"I know," Tubbo whispers. "I know," he reaches down a little, wrapping his arms around Ranboo. It hurts, it hurts so badly that Ranboo wants to shove him back and scream in agony, but he doesn't do either of those things. Instead, he settles into Tubbo's arms, collapsing into his friend's hold. He rests his head on Tubbo's shoulder, exhaustion taking over him. He's so tired. Ranboo is so unbelievably tired, and he doesn't want to be tired. He knows that if he closes his eyes for too long he'll die, and he doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to leave Tubbo. He doesn't want to leave Techno or Phil, either. "It'll be okay, Ranboo. It'll be okay, I promise," Tubbo's promises are all lies, Ranboo knows that. He can't promise he'll keep Ranboo alive, because they both know that's a lie. Ranboo is going to die. He's going to die, and he's going to die soon. "It's okay, Ranboo. It's okay, big man. Just..just listen to me, yeah? Just..just.."

He trails off, and Ranboo can hear him biting back his own cries of pain. They're both crying for the same reason, Ranboo thinks to himself. "I'm not going to be okay," he murmurs, feeling Tubbo's hands rest on his back. It hurts, it hurts _so_ much, but Ranboo doesn't try and shake him off. It's comforting, Tubbo's touch is so comforting, even if it's killing him to stay still. Ranboo wants to scream with every movement of Tubbo's hands, but he refuses to do that. So instead he settles into Tubbo's arms even more, focusing on his best friend's touch. It's a nice distraction from the hole in his stomach, the one he must have been given before he was thrown out into the rain. Ranboo doesn't remember much, he doesn't know how this happened to him, but he can make assumptions. He assumes that he was stabbed. He doesn't know by who or why, but in this world, is there ever _really_ a reason for things? Ranboo assumes that he was stabbed, and then to make sure he was actually dead, he was thrown out into the rain so it would look less like a murder and more like an accident. "I'm dying, Tubbo. I don't want to die. I- I don't.." Ranboo trails off, wishing that there was more he could say. "I'm scared. I'm really scared, Tubbo. I don't want to go." 

"Yeah," Tubbo whispers, his hands moving a little slower, a little more gently. "I know. Bu- but it's going to happen, so there's not much we can do about it, right?" He laughs, broken and bitter and full of hurt. "I'm sorry, Ranboo. I'm so sorry. I should have gotten there faster, I should have brought potions with me, or..or.." Tubbo shakes his head. Ranboo doesn't think that there was anything either of them could have done to prevent this from happening to him. He doesn't think that potions would have worked. He was already too far gone, he thinks. As soon as he was shoved out into the rain, his fate was sealed. Ranboo listens to Tubbo's soft words, though he can't really focus on them. They blur together, fading into each other the more that Tubbo speaks. Ranboo feels like his head is full of static. His ears ring, and he can hear blood pounding in his ears, unbearably loud. "Ranboo?"

"I'm here," Ranboo whispers. _Not for long_ , he silently adds on to himself. He's going to be dead soon. Ranboo is going to die, and there is nothing that he can do about it. There's nothing that anyone can do about it. He's going to die. He's _going to die_. "I'm..I'm really tired, Tubbo. Is that normal? To be tired? Or is that something..is that..I don't.." Ranboo feels panic stir up in his chest, threatening to overwhelm him entirely, already starting to rise up to his head, suffocating him, sending him spiralling and making him-

"It's okay," Tubbo murmurs. "You're here. You're here, you're okay. Breathe for me, big man. Breathe," Ranboo does, he tries his best to stop himself from spiralling, and focusing on Tubbo's voice works better than he thought that it would. "I'm really glad that I got to spend time with you, Ranboo. I'm happy that you didn't..that you're not..alone. Not now. Being alone right now would be the worst thing in the world. No one deserves to die alone. No one at all. It'll be okay, Ranboo. _I'll_ be okay, I promise. Not for a really, really long time, but I'll be okay," Ranboo thinks that he's lying. Tubbo is his best friend, and Ranboo would like to think that he's Tubbo's, too. If that's true, then Ranboo's death isn't something that Tubbo is going to be able to get over within a few days or weeks or even months. "I promise. I'll be okay."

"You won't," Ranboo looks up at him, meeting Tubbo's eyes. "Don't lie to me, not right now. I just..I don't..I.." Ranboo trails off, listening to his voice crack and break and shatter. He's scared, he's so, so terrified. He doesn't want to die. Ranboo doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to leave Tubbo behind. There's still so much that he has to do, he has to fight Dream and help Techno and Phil, he's got to build Snowchester with Tubbo. Ranboo can't die, he can't die right now, there's still so much he has to finish, he has to accomplish so much more. He doesn't have any time left. Ranboo is running out of time, he's almost out of time. "I love you, Tubbo. I never- I didn't.." he sniffles, biting back tears. "I didn't say it that much, 'cause I figured, um, I figured you knew. But I..I should say it, um, I should say it before I die. Right?" 

Tubbo is silent for a few seconds, and Ranboo wishes so desperately that he wasn't. Whenever Tubbo goes silent, the ringing in Ranboo's ears gets so much worse. It makes him want to scream, it makes him want to break down and cry. "I love you, Ranboo. I love you, too. You didn't have to say it," Tubbo laughs, bitter and hurt and broken and full of sadness. "It's okay if you didn't want to say it. I knew. I knew, don't worry, big man. I always knew. We- we're best friends, right?" Tubbo smiles down at him, and it feels and looks so disingenuine that it makes Ranboo's heart hurt. It makes his chest tighten, it makes him want to cry even more. Tubbo is trying so hard to be strong, and he shouldn't have to. Ranboo shouldn't have dragged himself to Snowchester, he shouldn't have done this to Tubbo. "What're you thinking about so hard, big man?"

"I'm sorry I did this to you," Ranboo whispers. "I'm sorry I'm making you watch me die. I'm so sorry, Tubbo. I don't want to go. I really don't- I don't want to go. I'm scared. I'm scared, Tubbo, I'm so scared. I don't want to leave you, I don't want to die. Tubbo," Ranboo feels himself start to panic, he feels himself start to shake. "Tubbo, I don't want to die. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get hurt, I didn't want to, I tried to fight it, but I- I didn't- I thought- maybe if I- I'm so sorry, I- I'm so- I'm..I'm so.." Ranboo trails off, unable to bite back the sob that breaks free. "I'm so _sorry_ ," Ranboo sobs, clutching at Tubbo's shirt, trying to stay present. "I'm so sorry." He cries, trying his best to ignore how the tears burn as they trail down his face, leaving bright red scorch marks in their path. 

"It's okay," Tubbo's voice is soft, it's not nearly as harsh as it was only a few moments ago. "It's okay, Ranboo. Shh, it's alright. I'm not mad, I'm not upset at you, okay? I promise, you've done nothing wrong. You're okay, Ranboo. You're okay," he murmurs, holding Ranboo even closer. Ranboo takes shaky breaths, sobbing onto Tubbo's shoulder, gasping out breaths of air that hurt him even more. "It'll be okay, big man. It'll be okay. Don't think too much about it, okay? Just..just focus on me, yeah? Just focus on me, big man. Just focus on my voice. What do you want to talk about, Ranboo? What're you thinkin' about? What's goin' on in that brain of yours?" 

Ranboo barks out a laugh, though it's not real. It isn't funny, none of this is funny. "I'm scared," he whispers. "I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go. How do I make it stop, Tubbo? How do I stop dying? How do I make all of this stop? I'm supposed to make this stop, I have to make this stop. How do I fix this? How do I..how do I stop hurting?"

"Just listen to my voice," Tubbo murmurs. "Listen to me, Ranboo, just listen. You don't have to talk anymore, big man. It's okay, you shouldn't be wasting your energy. I'm going to build Snowchester, I think. I think I'll make a few new houses. Maybe I'll make them out of dark oak rather than spruce, how's that sound? Maybe we'll throw some blackstone in there instead of stone bricks. I think that would look pretty cool. And I'll go and visit Spinz and Spoonz, 'cause it's been a long time since I've done that. I'll take you with me. We'll go there together, okay? We'll build this place together. It'll be okay, Ranboo. We'll build Snowchester together, and maybe we can go to L'manberg and visit everyone else. We can go to the Antarctic Empire, but I'll probably have to stay by the portal, 'cause I'm not really allowed near that place," he laughs. "But it'll be okay, 'cause I get to travel with you, and that's all that really matters to me." 

Ranboo listens to him talk, he focuses on Tubbo's words and his voice, and even though none of them are true, it's still comforting. He isn't ever going to go back to the Antarctic Empire. He'll never see Phil or Techno again. These are his last few moments alive, and he doesn't even get to spend them with all of the people he loves. He only gets to spend them with one person, and that one person doesn't deserve to see him die. "You're not a good liar," Ranboo whispers, feeling weak. The words are hard to get out, but he manages. "I love you. I'm sorry. I..I.." he trails off, squeezing his eyes shut. He's so tired, he's exhausted. He just wants to go to sleep. "We'll meet again, right?"

Silence.

"Tubbo?"

"Yeah," Tubbo's voice fills his ears one last time. "We'll meet again. I promise. I love you, Ranboo. How about you go to bed now, yeah? I'll be there when you wake up, okay? Just close your eyes, listen to me talk. When you wake up, we'll go and visit Spinz and Spoonz, and I'll probably bring some flowers, and you can help me choose them if you want, since you've got better taste in flowers than I do, and.."

His words blur into each other, fading out entirely. Ranboo listens as they fade, and he gives into the exhaustion that overwhelms his mind. The last thing he hears is Tubbo's voice, and he hears two simple words that make his chest hurt, but he can't figure out why. Why do those words make his head spin? Why is everything so dark, why is he so tired? What's happening? Where is he? Why is he..what's..

_"Goodbye, Ranboo."_

_:)_


End file.
